D. Armenta
Plagman"China-Free" Labels to Start Being Used by US Food Company
Even though China may have appeased the rest of the world’s concerns regarding the safety of its products by executing their former drug and food safety chief, the Utah-based company entitled Food for Health International is initiating a plan to market their products as “China-Free” in order to ease their customers’ anxieties regarding the issues of contaminated products and wanting to not die.
The Utah company, which makes whole food nutritional supplements for both humans and pets, intends to take every effort to publicize their new line of “China-Free” products, as President Frank Davis wants to emphasize that none of their ingredients come from the communist regime. According to Reuters, they have plans for a “China-Free” sticker in addition to several other “China-Free” advertisements and promotions.
Said president Davis, “it is a response to the [headlines] coming out, and we are taking a position that we are not the only ones reading them.”
Other health food companies think Davis’ organization might be going a little too far. “This is just another one of those fads,” commented Kellogg’s CEO Don Suitor, “It’ll fizzle out as soon as the headlines stop, just like what happened with trans fat, or child pornography.”
Several critics of the idea took time away from their busy schedule of playing video games in their parents’ basements to denounce the action as racist. Said one protestor, “China may have their problems, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. They shouldn’t just toss them aside like that, they try really hard! Maybe if you’d spent time with them when they were a kid, or played catch with me once in a while!”
The company, which makes its products from organically grown foods that are processed and packaged in the United States without any chemical additives, feels they deserve the right to boast about their food’s high quality. “Just like a black guy who gets his Bachelor’s wants everyone to know he’s not a gangsta,” explains Davis, “we want our customers to know that unlike other companies, we care enough about them not to use any ingredients from China.”
“Still, they’re going about it the wrong way,” said Latonika Jenkins of the ACLU, who intends to get her GED when she’s 19 once her second child is old enough for day-care, “instead of ‘China-Free’, why can’t they use a sticker that provides the same message without the racist tone? Something like, ‘This product is free of all ingredients that perhaps might have been produced in less than perfect conditions and could possibly have been contaminated with chemicals that perhaps maybe could cause you or your pet to not exactly be alive anymore, per se,’ would be just as informative but a lot more appropriate.” Oddly enough, research shows that those offended by a label such as the “China-Free” one are the most likely to miss any information not presented in large print on the front of a given product.
Regardless of their ineptitude, those opposed to the idea of a label that warns people quickly and effectively might want to check out another article published by CNN entitled, “Avoid ‘Made in China’ Labels Not an Easy Task” (actual article on CNN.com).
Although many specify the country in which it was produced, food manufacturers generally fail to acknowledge the country of origin for each individual ingredient. According to William Hubbard, a former US FDA official that didn’t get executed, China produces 80% of the world’s wheat gluten, which is common in most breads, cakes, and cookies, and 80% of its sorbic acid, which is a preservative used in just about everything. But despite popular belief, if they all stood on a chair and jumped to the ground at the same time, the earth would not shift in its orbit.
Another impact of Food for Health International’s boldness has been among companies wishing to cater to the large faction of Americans who feel passionately about another current controversy: immigration. The recent raucous in Tulsa serving as a prime example, the majority of Americans list immigration as one of the nation’s top concerns. In response, several companies are placing large stickers that read “This Packaging is in English,” and “Miguel and Paco-Free” on their products.
The list of contaminated Chinese products is seemingly endless, ranging from toy cars with lead-based paint to pet food that makes sure you never have to clean up poop again. Nevertheless, American officials at the FDA say they’re surprised that a communist country with 1.6 billion people wouldn’t have higher standards.
In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt Americans to be on the lookout for one or two Chinese products, such as snack foods with salmonella in the seasoning, toothpastes, radial tires, toy cars, seafood, meat, antibiotics, fake drugs, pet food… that’s most likely all of it, everything else is probably fine. It’s not like everything is contaminated just because in 2006 China shut down 152,000 food processors, unless MSNBC made that up.
Note: Food for Health International is a real company and they really are coming out with a “China-Free” label! And God bless them for doing so! See for yourself:
"China-Free" label article on MSNBC
Furthermore, if you have a problem with a label that says “China-Free,” either because you’re part of the PC police, or just a moron, I hope the next thing you get at the grocery store was made in China.
The Utah company, which makes whole food nutritional supplements for both humans and pets, intends to take every effort to publicize their new line of “China-Free” products, as President Frank Davis wants to emphasize that none of their ingredients come from the communist regime. According to Reuters, they have plans for a “China-Free” sticker in addition to several other “China-Free” advertisements and promotions.
Said president Davis, “it is a response to the [headlines] coming out, and we are taking a position that we are not the only ones reading them.”
Other health food companies think Davis’ organization might be going a little too far. “This is just another one of those fads,” commented Kellogg’s CEO Don Suitor, “It’ll fizzle out as soon as the headlines stop, just like what happened with trans fat, or child pornography.”
Several critics of the idea took time away from their busy schedule of playing video games in their parents’ basements to denounce the action as racist. Said one protestor, “China may have their problems, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. They shouldn’t just toss them aside like that, they try really hard! Maybe if you’d spent time with them when they were a kid, or played catch with me once in a while!”
The company, which makes its products from organically grown foods that are processed and packaged in the United States without any chemical additives, feels they deserve the right to boast about their food’s high quality. “Just like a black guy who gets his Bachelor’s wants everyone to know he’s not a gangsta,” explains Davis, “we want our customers to know that unlike other companies, we care enough about them not to use any ingredients from China.”
“Still, they’re going about it the wrong way,” said Latonika Jenkins of the ACLU, who intends to get her GED when she’s 19 once her second child is old enough for day-care, “instead of ‘China-Free’, why can’t they use a sticker that provides the same message without the racist tone? Something like, ‘This product is free of all ingredients that perhaps might have been produced in less than perfect conditions and could possibly have been contaminated with chemicals that perhaps maybe could cause you or your pet to not exactly be alive anymore, per se,’ would be just as informative but a lot more appropriate.” Oddly enough, research shows that those offended by a label such as the “China-Free” one are the most likely to miss any information not presented in large print on the front of a given product.
Regardless of their ineptitude, those opposed to the idea of a label that warns people quickly and effectively might want to check out another article published by CNN entitled, “Avoid ‘Made in China’ Labels Not an Easy Task” (actual article on CNN.com).
Although many specify the country in which it was produced, food manufacturers generally fail to acknowledge the country of origin for each individual ingredient. According to William Hubbard, a former US FDA official that didn’t get executed, China produces 80% of the world’s wheat gluten, which is common in most breads, cakes, and cookies, and 80% of its sorbic acid, which is a preservative used in just about everything. But despite popular belief, if they all stood on a chair and jumped to the ground at the same time, the earth would not shift in its orbit.
Another impact of Food for Health International’s boldness has been among companies wishing to cater to the large faction of Americans who feel passionately about another current controversy: immigration. The recent raucous in Tulsa serving as a prime example, the majority of Americans list immigration as one of the nation’s top concerns. In response, several companies are placing large stickers that read “This Packaging is in English,” and “Miguel and Paco-Free” on their products.
The list of contaminated Chinese products is seemingly endless, ranging from toy cars with lead-based paint to pet food that makes sure you never have to clean up poop again. Nevertheless, American officials at the FDA say they’re surprised that a communist country with 1.6 billion people wouldn’t have higher standards.
In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt Americans to be on the lookout for one or two Chinese products, such as snack foods with salmonella in the seasoning, toothpastes, radial tires, toy cars, seafood, meat, antibiotics, fake drugs, pet food… that’s most likely all of it, everything else is probably fine. It’s not like everything is contaminated just because in 2006 China shut down 152,000 food processors, unless MSNBC made that up.
Note: Food for Health International is a real company and they really are coming out with a “China-Free” label! And God bless them for doing so! See for yourself:
"China-Free" label article on MSNBC
Furthermore, if you have a problem with a label that says “China-Free,” either because you’re part of the PC police, or just a moron, I hope the next thing you get at the grocery store was made in China.
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