D. Armenta
PlagmanLegends of Orble : Part 1. "David"
David: the Black Knight of Orble
For the first in this hysterical series, I think it apropos that we begin with the Black Knight himself, David.
Wikipedia's definition:
A black knight is a soldier or knight who either is not bound to a specific liege or does not want his liege, or himself, to be identified and so does not bear any heraldic standards or has blackened them out.
All I can tell you is what I observed. I don't know what the secret was, but David had magnetism. Love, hate or totally fail to understand his stuff, you kept coming back.
David as a writer was witty, acerbic as hell, controversial, extremely well-read and not at all shy about speaking his mind. He turned some of his most loyal fans against himself doing that; he also won over some of his fiercest detractors for the same reason.
His battles with other Orblers were epic and hilarious; his razor-sharp wordplay was often lost on its target (while some of us laughed ourselves silly at the drubbing)
David's writing at his most popular blog (Mind Orgasms)covered emotional subjects; love, lust, longing, depression, rejection, anger, resentment. Many different people saw him in many different lights; misogynist, genius, pervert, sociopath, prophet, rock star. Whatever others' opinions of him were seemed to matter little to David. He just kept on being himself.
I lift my first pint to David, the Black Knight of Orble. Long may he write, wherever he writes now.
Even if it's only a logbook entry, I'm sure it's a good read.
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hey is there an actual guideline about what is deemed offensive or inappropriate for this site?
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
OK, on to the subject at hand. I guess I would sum up my opinion about David thusly: "eh". I honestly don't see what the big deal about him was. He was a mediocre (although well-read) writer enamored with his own cleverness. Were we judging his talent in terms of his ego, then he would be Shakespeare. But all I really saw was a semi-talented hack intent on being overtly "provocative" ("ooo, what's he going to say next!"). I never could understand his popularity. His poetry was pretentious and his prose was occasionally indecipherable. I may not be a genius, but I am fairly well-read and can cross the street on my own. What was I missing?
Perhaps the problem is that I prefer clear writing and a minimum of attitude. David was strong on neither of these things. I like it when someone's writing ability speaks to me, and the author doesn't have to wax rhapsodic about what a talented sort he is (something which I observed on more than one occasion). Just my $0.02 of course, D. But I much, much prefer anything that you would write over what I read on his old blogs (or on his new one, for that matter).
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I wasn't here for David of course so I cannot form an opinion one way or the other but he is beginning to take on a persona of mythical proportions.
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Kalikapsychosis
I just wanted to come here and offer my support because I love David, and I feel if I adress ANY of the above comments Im going to end up in a fight worthy of him.
God D, all you had to do was mention his name. Look at this!
My opinion? When I first started, I hated him SO much. I didnt understand how someone could be such a mysoginist and yet write 'The Stone Goddess'. We fought back and forth on EVERYONES blogs. But then I got over it. His talent was unbelievable and it gave me something to strive for - themes within themes and imagery and WHOA....I could have analysed his work for DAYS.....In my opinion, everything he wrote was a parody, and if you didnt get it, guess what, it was about you too!
To this day, Im honoured to call him friend.
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
The wild card that set the bench mark for the rest of us.
When the Nazis came Orble David was their first target.
Big mistake for them.
Horrorphile
I do miss his acerbic wit and insight ... Sure I didn't like everything he wrote, or think everything he wrote was gold, in fact a lot of his early stuff annoyed the hell out of me, but I became endeared somewhere along the way ...
(raising my steinglass) To David!
Good work Armenta ... A fine toast ...er, post.
It's probably because I am him?
Thanks for the tribue D Armenta. Kleo sent me the link.
I'm not actually writing much at the moment (apart from Reggies [registered mail slips], and RTS (return to sender) stickers. And numbers in big black textra on my mail bundles. And writing myself off ??? I went all Bukowski on myself, and went back to work as a postie. In Queensland (muggy one day, sweaty the next ... [which cuts down the need for spittle when you're a born-again bachelor into onanism?
I'm one page into Bukowski's 'Post Office' [I started it about two weeks ago ... (Whenever I read? It makes me just want to write. Or read my own most magnificent writings??? Just re-read them? While I'm not looking at myself in the mirror? Then delete them?
Most days (M-F) I work from 6am-6pm [sorting and delivering mail], then just get completely hammered after work. And live in a drunken stupour from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon ... (Have a quick Dan McGrew [spew] (= vomit in Aussie rhyming slang) in the morning before going to work) ... and the cycle and beat goes on and on and on and on ...
I've been without the net for a few weeks, so I was forced to go to pubs, drink and smoke and look at all the pretty girls all weekend ... One day I might hook up with a woman again, but I'm still debating whether hookers are cheaper than wives???
I rent a dogbox in Brisbane. Woof? [Don't get me started on doggy?] It's got everything I need. A fridge? ... (Na, it's a great born-again bachelor's pad about 5 minutes from work. (It's what they'd call a bedsit in the US ... I just sit here and amuse myself most nights ... then go to work ... I like blokey jobs (manual labouring jobs ... they make men out of boys ... There's too many metrosexual pansy boys on the net (and too many fat, lazy chicks who sit on their arses all day long ???
Oh, my dogbox has also got a narcissistic mirror according to the Orble nasties ??? God, some people are so full of vitriolic bile ... [Say hello to Winston and Ahmed for me???
Anyway, I'm going now ... Just thought I'd say thanks for the tribute (and dribble a bit of shit ???
Infognito
I actually liked his play with alliteration, it was fun.
I remember having a little exchange with him, 'a la' alliterative phrases once, and that was fun too.
Pity he has gone, as he did bring some spice to the site, even though soem may not have appreciated him at all.
Pity I didn't get to know him better.
cheers and welcome back,
you wandering minstrel you!
fog
Infognito
That seemed not to be there when I put my previous comment in, must be magick eh wot!!?!!
Ahh c'mon David, don't let the 'peanut gallery' get you down!
Come back, with a bigger, brighter, even more bizarre and challenging take on the world, and what crawls across its surface!
cheers and don't lick the stamps!
fog
Flick Wit
Cibb - are you refering to Ann? The moment she popped up on Orble I thought - DAVID. I told her she seemed VERY familiar but never found out for sure...
Great tribute, D.
Michaelie
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She was supposed to be an elderly woman but I got the definite impression she wasn't that old, or female at all. And she was extremely funny and mischievous.
Movies and Life
Henrietta is listed under the writers section...
I could be wrong, but I think it's always worthwhile having a theory
Flick Wit
Flick Wit
I definitely think Ann is someone else, male, cheeky, and already on Orble. Lol. But he's practically spelled it out that he's Henrietta on those Potter in a Harry posts, so I'm not sure.
I think almost everyone is suspect these days!
Movies and Life
So who is Ann? I will be back after some research....
Celebrity Obsession
I couldn't agree with you more. David was brilliant. He was one of the best writers I've come across and that wit. Oh lordy, his wit.
You know, I could use a person's like or dislike of David as a guage of whether I'd like that person.
Oh, I can't wait to read your next installment
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Ditto on the 'nice to see you again' and Ditto on the tribute;
...and usually more inspired than when you arrived the time before... sometimes I would laugh so hard, my sides would ache, other times all I could do was cry... dig deeper, for the black knight indeed rides the halls of orble still...
Lilla ...
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i like how it takes you minutes to figure out things that have been puzzling me for months . . . i could (and have) enlisted teams of experts on these identity questions when really i should have gone direct to you!
Flick Wit
I have some suspicions about others, and there are a couple I know have mulitple identities, and I'm sure there are more out there... but that doesn't really bother me because the purpose behind it isn't self-serving or meanspirited. And at least David has fun with it!
He was so entertaining! Good or bad, he was never boring, that's for sure.
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and Michaelie i am so gunna pick your brain about all this later!
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In the first post of David's I ever read, he said his favourite word was 'meretricious' and he relayed a scenario of telling a woman that she was meretricious in such a way as to make her think she was being complimented, whereas it's actually an insult to her sexuality.
I won't even go into the levels of distaste I have for his message on this post. What was that people were saying about misogynistic, homophobic, narcissistic hacks?
So anyhow, to anyone who is cool with David, can you do me a favour and avoid my blogs? Much appreciated.
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Debate Fan
As before, David's mention provokes a load of mixed reactions; par for the course. I'd expect no less!
As a postscript, I add the Black Knight's motto:
"Don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to."
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You have deliberately insulted D.Armenta and her readers with your whining.
I can appreciate the fact that Ahmed and Winston didn't/don't care for David; they are up front with their opinions and aren't arrogant about the matter as you appear to be you pompous postmortem critical ass.
Avoid your blogs; hahahaha, not a problem for most of us, they're a flotsam repository, so . . . no warning is necessary. Who can stand the stench of mediocrity, or of cowardly ankle nipping wankers; certainly not I.
Raven
The Florida Keys and Everglades
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What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
So, does all this mean the post should be on the "family friendly" filter?
PMC, my duty and task in this series is to chronicle the past and present writers who have somehow made their mark here at Orble. Some will be (or once were) universal favorites, others will be (or were) notoriously unpopular. Some should have had a much larger audience. Either way, their names and work are worth a mention in my opinion.
Anyway, I'm sorry that your dislike of David has carried over to my blog in that you won't vote here. That is, of course, your prerogative.
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now after i consulted a dictionary to find out what "onanism" means im not sure if i should be concerned as to what hes doing with my display pic lol
hmmm depending on what he decides on that issue i could be considered cheaper than a hooker (theres no doubt im sleazier
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Flick Wit
I think it's pretty harsh collectively telling people who have supported you in the past that you don't want to speak to them, simply because they maybe read into another person's writing differently.
Do you cut off friends in the real world if they see things differently to you? I don't think you ever looked beyond the surface of David's writing, and I'm quite offended by your comment, on my behalf and on the behalf of others you have effectively told to... get lost.
Kalikapsychosis
If Im going to offend, I like to mean it.
This post is awesome D. I was going to write about how Davids critisim shoved me to new levels but I dont like this much attention!
But I have been giggling all the way. Thanks for this.
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I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'm finding it very difficult... in addition to anti-female and anti-metrosexual comments (I didn't read long enough to catch much other references to gay people, but he seemed quite defensive when takling about Elton John) I have also seen him put down overweight people and people who aren't good-looking (whatever that means - I think everyone can be good-looking). Surely you can't have missed his mean-spirited attacks on these groups, other Orblers (including myself? That was the first time I had been called a 'slut'). How can you claim to be entertained by this disturbed attention-seeking creep?
I went back to David's work a few times trying to look for redeeming qualities, but the deeper I looked the more disturbing it became, and it made Orble a less happy place for me.
If you continue to tacitly support misogyny, homophobia and mean-spiritedness then I find that very distasteful and have no choice but to ask you not to visit my blog...
And yes, I would do this in real life as well. I am proud to say all the people I consider my friends are very careful about which personalities they support, and for what reason.
I have enjoyed talking with you in the past, but your attitude towards David here disappoints me and makes me want for more in an Orble interaction. I'm sorry. If you change your mind, feel free to let me know.
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Padsoc
D. Armenta - Please understand that it's not your blog, but this particular post, that I had a problem with. It promotes David's work, and I have seen other tributes to him as a result. I wasn't happy with him while he was a regular poster, and I have no wish to be reminded of him now. All the best, however.
Film & TV on DVD
Good to see you, causing a ruckus from the grave as usual!
Nice to know you still inspire such veracious passion in readers, without doing a thing.....loveit!
Good luck with the mail merge...
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This is a blogging site for Chrissakes! I want to be confronted, offended and amused as well as informed and entertained. I am so sick of politically correct bullsh*t...and the fact that I asterisked that word says it all.
Everyone is free to move on if they don't like a blogger or a post. I agree that there should be no personal attacks against anyone but it sounds like David was someone we need more of here.
Good on you D. Armenta. I say bring on the controversy.
PS. Feel free to swear and be completely politically incorrect if any of you ever comment on my posts. And if you feel the need to personally attack I will just yawn in your general direction
Potter in a Harry
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Oops, now I am banned from the PMC site.
Potter in a Harry
most academics don't like my writing.
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i think youre confusing "private message" with "public comment", all my blogs are public for anyone to see . . . must be those male tendencies? thanks for all the forgiveness baby
Potter in a Harry
I just like you ...
You're real and true to yourself and everyone else ...
You're who you are ... and there's no guile ... no deceit ...
You remind me of Philip ... I know you don't like religion much ... and I'll be brief ... but Philip was one of the Apostles ... Our Lord said to hm ... "I saw you sitting under the fig tree." ... That's when Philip realised who it was whom was speaking to him ...
Anyway ... all the best ... and thanks for the support ...
God Bless Alaska ???
Potter in a Harry
That's the attitude ...
You obviously work for a living ???
Potter in a Harry
Do you spend all day on your PC just waiting to attack someone? Because that's how you come across ...
What a pathetic approach to life ...
Potter in a Harry
When you write about 'laughing for the wrong reasons' ?
That's just being a typical female isn't it ? (Get women together? All they talk about is sex. They make us blokes look all innocent in our conversations ...
Potter in a Harry
I'd never pretend to be my own mother ... I'm too evil ... no-one would believe it was her ???
Potter in a Harry
The greatest thing in this life? Forgiveness.
I remember the early days. I couldn't stand you. I used to address you as KlapTrapper. I used to think, 'Who is this utter dipstick?' Just one more pagan?
But I like your feisty spirit. You wouldn't give up. I'm stubborn. And look what happened.
We have mutual respect. We agree to disagree on a lot of things. That's a wonderful thing in life. (And you used to say things like ... If you were teaching religion, I'd listen to you ... [That was such a heart-warming compliment ...
Women are feisty. Deep down. All of them.
I don't deliberately alienate people. But I alienate most people because of who I am. (It must be a subconscious Freudian thing).
The worst part is I alienate the people I love the most. (To me that's human nature ... but I won't go into a religious diatribe ...
Two of the hottest women on this Orble site? You and Dusk ... (what gets me most about the pair of you? ... You both know how to forgive a bloke for being an absolute dickhead ... (I'll just add a qualifier to this statement ... I'm not comparing you to Dusk ... [I've been told off enough already?] ... You're both two unique individuals who just share a commonality ... the ability to be real in this virtual world ...
I wish I was a Muslim. I'd marry both of you.
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Potter in a Harry
in a non-gay way? This is such a great compliment:
The wild card that set the bench mark for the rest of us.
When the Nazis came Orble David was their first target.
Big mistake for them
It's taken me quite a while to get my life organsised (my shit together) up here in muggy, sweaty, spittle-free masto-Qld ... but I'm finally in my own dogbox ... with a bit of net activity happening ... so (unless I'm banned from Orble [again!]), I'll be frequenting this most wonderful writing blogsite a bit more often ...
to catch up with my friends ... (and deal with the nasties?) ...
Man, I tell you ... resurrecting your own life when you're not God Almighty Himself? It's tough work ... (footprints in the sand?) ... I have no idea whatsoever of how I ended up in Qld working for a living. [Probably because I live in a drunken stupour? ...
But thanks for your compliments ... They're very humbling ... and I need to be humbled more yet ... I still have to beat this pride out of me ... (It's a tough life being talented ...
Potter in a Harry
When the virtual and real worlds collide? And we actually meet flesh-to-flesh?
We'll raise more than one steinglass ...
Potter in a Harry
I'm too busy licking the air and praying to be reincarnated as a dog (because they can?) to lick stamps ...
Hope life in the Blue Mountains is giving you a Brokeback Mountain existence ...
Never work as a postie if you're gay. It's such an un-PC atmosphere to work in ...
The woman who works next to me while I'm sorting mail? She's a lesbian. We get on fine ... I'm a tolerant person ... [just not of myself???
Potter in a Harry
Every time I see your smiling mouth?
[delete] ...
I envy your boyfriend?
Potter in a Harry
The net is a very deceptive thing .l.. (I've tried to be real on the net ... It doesn't work ... I just keep getting banned from websites?
Thank God I have a job now that forces me out of the virtual world into the real world ... [but old habits are hard to kick ... I still come back to the virtual world ...
But ... that being written? ... I've met some wonderful people on Orble ... (You're numbered amongst them ...
Not many people would offer someone a book voucher just for dribblling shit on their blog while they're O/S ...
I haven't been to the cinema for ages ... The cinema is a romantic place ...
But I would like to go to a film ... but going alone is not very appealing ... (Maybe I'll go to a brothel, and instead of paying for sex, I'll say to the Magdalena, "Hey babe, wanna get paid $440 to come and see a film with me and hold my hand?"
Potter in a Harry
That is such a beautiful thing to write ... Thank you ...
Potter in a Harry
Yep. Spot on. (Or "Damn straight, Senator," as Travis Bickle would say).
Perception is a gift. You either have it or you don't.
Potter in a Harry
Yep. Spot on. (Or "Damn straight, Senator," as Travis Bickle would say).
Perception is a gift. You either have it or you don't.
Potter in a Harry
oops ... damn typos?
Potter in a Harry
I'm not very cool in real life. Psycho? Yes. Cool. Nup. Too busy being a psycho to be cool.
Cool is for young people who don't know how to be themselves. Cool is saying things like ... "I wish I was Brad Pitt." ... Psycho is saying things like, "Stuff that for a joke. I'm ME."
I married a woman who looked like Angelina Jolly-Roger ... they're overrated. Give me small breasts any day.
Potter in a Harry
Don't judge people by your own standards and estimation of yourself and say things like:
Are you over Kurt Vonnegut's death yet, or still sooky-la-la-ing?
Potter in a Harry
Yep. I'm back. Until I get banned again?
How's your Trekky marriage going man?
Potter in a Harry
You'd be a good root?
Potter in a Harry
Until they ban me again? I'll hang around. (Increase the profits for the company???
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And if I didn't judge people by own standards how else would I judge them? Everything you've written in these comments pretty much backs up what I wrote.
So glad you are back, I have signed up for an email subscription so I dont miss anything you write...
Hope life is treating you well.
xxxMiss Nomer
Infognito
I think you need to resurrect the alliterative site, and encourage others to join in.
I suggested (on my blog and homage example) such members be called...
Totalalliterative Poets.
I have a thing for totalitarianism at the moment, considering the West thinks it is groovy to be like that, and rewards China...anyway..
So how aboot it David?
Everyone may contribute, as long as they keep it TOTALLY alliterative, brief and pithy...no 'ifs', 'ands' or 'buts' allowed!!
You start the site up, allowing all to contribute...waddyahrekkon??
Raven is good at it, Morgan gurrlish, Lilla, DM is almost there...she put in a few "ifs' 'ands' whatever.
So there is a small movement to start with, nad we intend to take on Budgiewoy first, then, THE WORLD!!
cheers...
oh, and no "brokeback" buddie, yet! But I do have a 'sore-back' from self involved activities...
...most would call me a wanker anyway.
Ask your lesbian postie pal if she is any good at licking stamps...ahem...
I hate PC when it is used as a cloaking device to hide a particular person's real thoughts, when it is used by people who are afraid to be flawed, or venal, for that is a lie, for that is not the normal human condition.
By the way, although I did not read all your stuff, as my pooter makes it difficult (slow) enough gadding abooot OrBULL, I saw a huge difference in what you did compared to some others; with your work, one could detect an intellect challenging societal mores, pricking precious egos at the same time exposing his own to assault, whereas some others I have encountered here, are just dumb f*@k moron bigots...in all their genres... who have the collective aptitude and acumen, the artistic qualities, the imagination, of a cow pattie, ( I will put in a waiver here, as some cows do create extraordinarily artistic organic works of nature worthy of some praise).
cheers
fog
Potter in a Harry
For a guy supposedly into literature, you can't even construct a sentence ...
What is this?:
And you have a site based on literacy? How amusing ... Tell me. What are your mummy and daddy like? Did they neglect you or abuse you? ... Or both?
That may be the thiing I don't like about you ... your utter hypocrisy ...??? You're not real ... you're just a little boy on the net pretending to be a man ...
I'd help anyone out in life ... (and have) ... but prissy little boys like you? You have to learn to grow up a bit and stop living in virtuality ... If I was your father? You wouldn't be carrying on like you are atm ...
Potter in a Harry
If life gets any bettter, I swear I'll die of bliss. Just fall down and die on Orble's homepage ...
Potter in a Harry
I'll just see how using my mum's blogsite goes ...
Mum doesn't mind. If Orble don't? Then I don't mind either ...
As to cow-pats? ... Yep. I'd rather look at a cow-pat than read most Orble posts ...
There's some really nice people on here, but there's also some "nasties" ... but that's life ...
I'll be back .. I'm still reading your comment ... It's nice to read some intelligent writing ... I enjoy it ...
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Infognito
I'll tune into "lady Muck" and maybe I'll start the totalalliteration site...gasp...gulp...and we may hear from the poetic peerage there?
cheers
fog
Potter in a Harry
That's one of the funniest responses I've ever read. (And that's not my dick talking okay? ... [although there is a strange heat in my loins? ... Na, what's the point? I'm a dead root ...
It's very Seinfieldian ... "Oh, and they're real Jerry." ???
When I sober up? (2012?) ... I'll have to check out your "posts"
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PMC
Some of us really like to be disturbed. Or should I say, we are that disturbed anyway, we really enjoy a little more.
Cheryl,
Thanks for that! Oh, thankyou so much!
Darling, David
I know how that feels. I dont hold it against men for being...Well, men. Thats the point isnt it? And believe me, if polygamy worked in my favour Id marry both you and Kman. Oh, I got one in Canada I have to marry as well. I asked Nick Of Time to join the harem, but he wasnt keen.
And D.Armenta....Thanks again!
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What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
So glad to see you all!
For the record, Cheryl, I'm with you all the way.
I never delete anyone's comments; that would be cheating.
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations