D. Armenta
PlagmanSprint "Drops" 1,000 of their Whiniest Customers
By “firing” 1,000 of their customers, Sprint Nextel Corp. became the first major company in US history to act on the premise that not only is the customer not always right, occasionally they can be downright annoying. The #3 wireless provider decided that these members were calling customer service in excess and making demands they felt were unreasonable.
“These accounts have been researched very carefully,” said Sprint spokeswoman Roni Singleton, “we feel strongly about the decisions we made, we stand by them. Our customer service reps should not be responsible for talking customers out of suicide, nor should they have to provide marriage counseling or attempt to interpret what people from the ghetto are saying.”
The 1,000 customers who received service termination letters at the end of June were collectively calling customer service 40,000 times a month. Intelligent people recognize that this ties up the customer service representatives, thus making it extremely difficult for people who actually need help to get through.
Unintelligent people felt differently.
“This is America,” said Latonika Jones after receiving her termination letter, “in America, a few people are allowed to ruin it for e’rybody. I was up in some club and some [N-word] started shootin’ some otha [N-word], and so e’rybody got throwed out. They can’t just get rid of the few troublemakers and go about serving the other 52,999,000 customers efficiently; they be trippin’!”
According to debate on the internet, which is undoubtedly the internet’s, and by extension the world’s most reliable and accurate resource, the move by Sprint is being viewed by some as penalizing their customers for trying to get their money’s worth.
“Oh you got that right,” said Danielliqua Thomas, “if I’m gonna be payin’ $34.99 a month, they better at least paint my house, know-wha-I’m-sayin’?”
Furthermore, the amount of excessive calling could be interpreted by some as evidence of poor customer service on Sprint’s end. “Them people’s just too shy to call, but I don’t play dat,” said Chon’Rhonda Jenkins, “I keeps it real. If only a thousand of us not afraid to tell Sprint wassup, why we gettin’ booted?”
But Sprint insists that the problem is not with customer service. In fact, they say that removing the “high maintenance customers” will help them to improve the quality of service to those who aren’t retarded.
“These customers were calling to a degree that we felt was excessive,” said Singleton, “in some cases they were calling customer care hundreds of times a month for a period of six to twelve months on the same issues even after we felt those issues had been resolved.” Singleton also said that some of the cancelled customers would repeatedly ask for information about another person’s account.
“You damn right I axed,” commented Kwanisha Brown, “I wanna know if my man be [fooling] around on me; I gots a right to know.”
Sprint waived the final balances of the 1,000 dropped customers, and will provide them with 30 days of free service to find another carrier, providing each and every one of them what they’ve always wanted: something free.
“These accounts have been researched very carefully,” said Sprint spokeswoman Roni Singleton, “we feel strongly about the decisions we made, we stand by them. Our customer service reps should not be responsible for talking customers out of suicide, nor should they have to provide marriage counseling or attempt to interpret what people from the ghetto are saying.”
The 1,000 customers who received service termination letters at the end of June were collectively calling customer service 40,000 times a month. Intelligent people recognize that this ties up the customer service representatives, thus making it extremely difficult for people who actually need help to get through.
Unintelligent people felt differently.
“This is America,” said Latonika Jones after receiving her termination letter, “in America, a few people are allowed to ruin it for e’rybody. I was up in some club and some [N-word] started shootin’ some otha [N-word], and so e’rybody got throwed out. They can’t just get rid of the few troublemakers and go about serving the other 52,999,000 customers efficiently; they be trippin’!”
According to debate on the internet, which is undoubtedly the internet’s, and by extension the world’s most reliable and accurate resource, the move by Sprint is being viewed by some as penalizing their customers for trying to get their money’s worth.
“Oh you got that right,” said Danielliqua Thomas, “if I’m gonna be payin’ $34.99 a month, they better at least paint my house, know-wha-I’m-sayin’?”
Furthermore, the amount of excessive calling could be interpreted by some as evidence of poor customer service on Sprint’s end. “Them people’s just too shy to call, but I don’t play dat,” said Chon’Rhonda Jenkins, “I keeps it real. If only a thousand of us not afraid to tell Sprint wassup, why we gettin’ booted?”
But Sprint insists that the problem is not with customer service. In fact, they say that removing the “high maintenance customers” will help them to improve the quality of service to those who aren’t retarded.
“These customers were calling to a degree that we felt was excessive,” said Singleton, “in some cases they were calling customer care hundreds of times a month for a period of six to twelve months on the same issues even after we felt those issues had been resolved.” Singleton also said that some of the cancelled customers would repeatedly ask for information about another person’s account.
“You damn right I axed,” commented Kwanisha Brown, “I wanna know if my man be [fooling] around on me; I gots a right to know.”
Sprint waived the final balances of the 1,000 dropped customers, and will provide them with 30 days of free service to find another carrier, providing each and every one of them what they’ve always wanted: something free.
