D. Armenta
PlagmanNAACP Standardizes Use of the Black Slang: "It's been a minute!"
It is quite common for Americans to use units of time figuratively. For example, telling someone you need a minute typically means the individual needs about 3-5 minutes to complete the task at hand. Saying you will “be there in a second” quite obviously is not referring to a single second as a physicist would quantify it. Rather, it is generally understood that in these instances, a “second” is meant to infer that multiple seconds are required; in the most extreme cases, an entire minute might elapse before the desired result is attained.
In recent years, however, African-Americans, or, brothas and sistas, have become fond of using the term “a minute” to reference a considerable length of time. Typically, the unit of measurement, be it days, weeks, months, or even years, was understood by the receiving party. Although white people and educated blacks have started to catch on to the concept, their grasp of the word’s use in slang has been far too slow, and on many occasions has led to catastrophic consequences.
In Detroit, Michigan, a 22-year-old black male was told by a grocery-store worker that microwaving his burrito for a minute would be sufficient. Upon returning home, the man microwaved his food for three months, after which the burrito was barely edible. The male later sued the grocery-store, claiming he had burned his tongue despite following the directions given to him by the store’s employee. The all-black jury awarded the young man $1.7 million.
During a bank robbery in Atlanta, Georgia, a gunman demanded to know when the time-lock on the safe would release. The teller, a 24-year-old black woman, replied “it’s gonna be like, a minute.” After one minute elapsed, the gunman, outraged at what he perceived as her lying to him, began discharging his weapon at the hostages. Since he was holding his gun sideways like the gang members do in movies, only two of his 42 bullets hit hostages; both were flesh wounds.
At a physician’s office in Greenville, Alabama, a patient told his doctor he had been experiencing shortness of breath for a minute. Typically, shortness of breath would cause a physician to further investigate any heart or lung issues, or at the very least direct the patient to a specialist. But thinking the patient had begun to experience the shortness of breath in the waiting room one minute earlier, the doctor dismissed the potential symptom. Four months later, the 33-year-old black male had a myocardial infarction (heart attack) caused by a 95% blockage in one of his coronaries arteries. After learning the patient had been to a doctor’s office just months prior to the incident, the American Medical Association revoked the physician’s license to practice medicine. After declaring bankruptcy, his wife divorced him and took custody of their three children.
In light of the recent increase in interracial misunderstandings, the NAACP decided to create an international standard for the urban “minute.”
The “Guide to Ghetto Time” explains in great detail the appropriate uses for the “urban minute,” as it is now officially recognized, as well as the situations in which it is prohibited. Furthermore, the NAACP has issued a disclaimer that applies to all African-Americans via section 8, article 6 of Al Sharpton’s “Guide to Fighting the Man,” which states that any African-American who chooses to use an “urban” unit of time in situations prohibited by the “Guide to Ghetto Time” forfeits any and all rights to complain about how the government and/or white people are to blame for the resulting consequences (which could cost the individual millions in potential future settlements).
Given that it is by far the most commonly used “urban” unit of time, and that there is a slim-to-none chance that the target audience is going to even open the book, much less get past the first page, the “urban minute” is covered on page one in big letters and small words, with the text surrounding a picture of Beyoncé in a bikini.
According to the guide, without further elaboration in the given context, the “urban minute” will refer to a period between one month and two years. For cases in which the two conversers know one another, the “minute” will refer to a large amount of that particular unit of time, given that it is obvious to both parties. For example, take two friends who have not seen each other in eight years; if discussing how long it has been since they have seen one another, the unit of time is clearly in years. Therefore, the individuals may use the “minute” to refer to several years. If the unit of time for a given topic is not obvious to both parties, the “minute” cannot be used. For instance, if a man asks a friend he has not seen in more than two years how long he dated a certain woman, the friend cannot respond with “a minute,” since the man is unsure of whether that is referring to months or years. However, if the man has talked to his friend within two years and can interpret the unit of time, the friend may use the “minute” since by definition, it covers one month to two years.
But even that can get confusing, and this is where enunciation comes into play. Although typically not a part of the urban lexicon, enunciating certain words in a sentence, or any words in general, can alter the connotations of said sentence. In the case of the “minute,” there are two approaches that can help narrow down the precise amount of time of the “minute,” while still allowing the user to say “a minute” rather than just say the actual length of time.
If the speaker wishes to reference a length of time closer to one month by using “a minute,” he should emphasize the word preceding “a minute.” For example, “it’s BEEN a minute” could lead the person to assume he probably means closer to one month than two years. In contrast, by emphasizing the word “minute” itself, you can give the impression that the length of time being referenced is closer to two years, such as in the phrase, “haven’t seen you in a MINUTE!”
But more important than knowing how to properly use the “urban minute” is knowing when not to use it, although the NAACP has no expectations that these rules will ever be followed.
First off, the “minute” should never be used for any situation in which a specific length of time is of critical importance, whether it falls within the one month to two year time frame or not. As the aforementioned examples showed, bank robberies, cooking times, and medical issues should never involve the “urban minute.” As a general rule, any person who is getting paid to ask a question, such as a doctor, should not receive the “urban minute” as a response to any question. Reminder: if the “urban minute” is used in one of these situations, the recipient forfeits all liability.
Second, the “urban minute” will rarely be understood by foreigners to the United States, and thus efforts should be made to avoid using the term in their presence, as it will likely only serve to confuse them. This is because foreigners who have not been in this country long haven’t had sufficient time to realize that certain groups of people have adopted their own cultures with the intention of making no sense to anyone outside of it. In other words, they have not been trained to detect slang and translate its intended meaning.
Essentially, the “urban minute” should be reserved for social settings. Fortunately, this type of setting comprises about 95% of the total time spent during a given day amongst those who would typically use the “minute,” anyway. Moreover, other than paying bills past due, very rarely do said people ever have deadlines with tight schedules, negating the necessity for the minute’s traditional use.
The NAACP would like to reiterate that overuse of the “urban minute” will likely lead to its assimilation into the vocabulary of uneducated people from all different sections of the country. Therefore, its use should be limited to those who already understand it; at the very least this should delay its inevitable cross-cultural propagation.
In recent years, however, African-Americans, or, brothas and sistas, have become fond of using the term “a minute” to reference a considerable length of time. Typically, the unit of measurement, be it days, weeks, months, or even years, was understood by the receiving party. Although white people and educated blacks have started to catch on to the concept, their grasp of the word’s use in slang has been far too slow, and on many occasions has led to catastrophic consequences.
In Detroit, Michigan, a 22-year-old black male was told by a grocery-store worker that microwaving his burrito for a minute would be sufficient. Upon returning home, the man microwaved his food for three months, after which the burrito was barely edible. The male later sued the grocery-store, claiming he had burned his tongue despite following the directions given to him by the store’s employee. The all-black jury awarded the young man $1.7 million.
During a bank robbery in Atlanta, Georgia, a gunman demanded to know when the time-lock on the safe would release. The teller, a 24-year-old black woman, replied “it’s gonna be like, a minute.” After one minute elapsed, the gunman, outraged at what he perceived as her lying to him, began discharging his weapon at the hostages. Since he was holding his gun sideways like the gang members do in movies, only two of his 42 bullets hit hostages; both were flesh wounds.
At a physician’s office in Greenville, Alabama, a patient told his doctor he had been experiencing shortness of breath for a minute. Typically, shortness of breath would cause a physician to further investigate any heart or lung issues, or at the very least direct the patient to a specialist. But thinking the patient had begun to experience the shortness of breath in the waiting room one minute earlier, the doctor dismissed the potential symptom. Four months later, the 33-year-old black male had a myocardial infarction (heart attack) caused by a 95% blockage in one of his coronaries arteries. After learning the patient had been to a doctor’s office just months prior to the incident, the American Medical Association revoked the physician’s license to practice medicine. After declaring bankruptcy, his wife divorced him and took custody of their three children.
In light of the recent increase in interracial misunderstandings, the NAACP decided to create an international standard for the urban “minute.”
The “Guide to Ghetto Time” explains in great detail the appropriate uses for the “urban minute,” as it is now officially recognized, as well as the situations in which it is prohibited. Furthermore, the NAACP has issued a disclaimer that applies to all African-Americans via section 8, article 6 of Al Sharpton’s “Guide to Fighting the Man,” which states that any African-American who chooses to use an “urban” unit of time in situations prohibited by the “Guide to Ghetto Time” forfeits any and all rights to complain about how the government and/or white people are to blame for the resulting consequences (which could cost the individual millions in potential future settlements).
Given that it is by far the most commonly used “urban” unit of time, and that there is a slim-to-none chance that the target audience is going to even open the book, much less get past the first page, the “urban minute” is covered on page one in big letters and small words, with the text surrounding a picture of Beyoncé in a bikini.
According to the guide, without further elaboration in the given context, the “urban minute” will refer to a period between one month and two years. For cases in which the two conversers know one another, the “minute” will refer to a large amount of that particular unit of time, given that it is obvious to both parties. For example, take two friends who have not seen each other in eight years; if discussing how long it has been since they have seen one another, the unit of time is clearly in years. Therefore, the individuals may use the “minute” to refer to several years. If the unit of time for a given topic is not obvious to both parties, the “minute” cannot be used. For instance, if a man asks a friend he has not seen in more than two years how long he dated a certain woman, the friend cannot respond with “a minute,” since the man is unsure of whether that is referring to months or years. However, if the man has talked to his friend within two years and can interpret the unit of time, the friend may use the “minute” since by definition, it covers one month to two years.
But even that can get confusing, and this is where enunciation comes into play. Although typically not a part of the urban lexicon, enunciating certain words in a sentence, or any words in general, can alter the connotations of said sentence. In the case of the “minute,” there are two approaches that can help narrow down the precise amount of time of the “minute,” while still allowing the user to say “a minute” rather than just say the actual length of time.
If the speaker wishes to reference a length of time closer to one month by using “a minute,” he should emphasize the word preceding “a minute.” For example, “it’s BEEN a minute” could lead the person to assume he probably means closer to one month than two years. In contrast, by emphasizing the word “minute” itself, you can give the impression that the length of time being referenced is closer to two years, such as in the phrase, “haven’t seen you in a MINUTE!”
But more important than knowing how to properly use the “urban minute” is knowing when not to use it, although the NAACP has no expectations that these rules will ever be followed.
First off, the “minute” should never be used for any situation in which a specific length of time is of critical importance, whether it falls within the one month to two year time frame or not. As the aforementioned examples showed, bank robberies, cooking times, and medical issues should never involve the “urban minute.” As a general rule, any person who is getting paid to ask a question, such as a doctor, should not receive the “urban minute” as a response to any question. Reminder: if the “urban minute” is used in one of these situations, the recipient forfeits all liability.
Second, the “urban minute” will rarely be understood by foreigners to the United States, and thus efforts should be made to avoid using the term in their presence, as it will likely only serve to confuse them. This is because foreigners who have not been in this country long haven’t had sufficient time to realize that certain groups of people have adopted their own cultures with the intention of making no sense to anyone outside of it. In other words, they have not been trained to detect slang and translate its intended meaning.
Essentially, the “urban minute” should be reserved for social settings. Fortunately, this type of setting comprises about 95% of the total time spent during a given day amongst those who would typically use the “minute,” anyway. Moreover, other than paying bills past due, very rarely do said people ever have deadlines with tight schedules, negating the necessity for the minute’s traditional use.
The NAACP would like to reiterate that overuse of the “urban minute” will likely lead to its assimilation into the vocabulary of uneducated people from all different sections of the country. Therefore, its use should be limited to those who already understand it; at the very least this should delay its inevitable cross-cultural propagation.
