Positive Role Model Michael Vick is Getting a Bum Rap
The recent attempt of the news media to tarnish the image of Michael Vick, a man who children can look up to and say, “feshizzle, yo he be da s*** fo realz,” is not only deplorable, but is just another example of America’s intolerance towards wealthy black athletes.
“It doesn’t matter how giving a person is,” said Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank, “whether it be that time Mike paid for my Filet-O-Fish or that afternoon he bailed out his friend who claimed the pot was his and not Michael’s, people will still try to find something wrong just because he’s in the spotlight or because the police found something else illegal at one of his homes.”
The press first dove into Michael’s private life after a woman claimed that she contracted genital herpes from Vick, and that he allegedly checked into a clinic under the name Ron Mexico on several occasions to receive treatment, thus proving he knew about the condition.
“Some shawty be throwin herself all up in Mike’s bidness, finds out she got da herps and whateva and she be suing Mike fo dat?” commented one of Vick’s close friends, “whateva, playa, she prolly had dat bafoe all dat, knowha-imsayin? How we know she not be givin dat herps to Mike, knowha-imsayin? She be trippin’, word.”
Attorneys for Vick argued that she was, indeed, trippin’, and that most women would consider it an honor to contract an STD from an NFL superstar with a $130 million contract. Furthermore, they contested that because the woman obviously had very low standards and must be loose given that she hooked up with Mike, she must have known full well that sex with a black man is not going to involve a condom. Explained one of Vick’s defense attorneys, “if you order coffee, see how hot it is, and then purposely pour it all over yourself and get burned, you certainly can’t blame the coffee. That would be like buying some bullets, putting one into a gun, shooting yourself in the leg, and then suing the company that made the bullet. Mike’s just a bullet, here, can’t put it any more plainly.”
Clinton Portis, black running back for the Washington Redskins, also came to Vick’s defense in an interview with the press earlier this week. “Why they gotsta take a positive role model like Michael Vick and get him in trouble for nothing, for fighting some dogs. Animals fight all the time, ain’t you neva seen the Discovery Channel? I haven’t cause I keeps it real, but you white boys prolly do. They be his dogs on his property, knowha-imsayin, he should be able to do whateva.”
Portis’ words certainly helped sway public opinion back into Vick’s favor, who was later interviewed and quoted saying, “everybody loves Michael Vick, ain’t gonna be no problems with this here homey, knowha-imsayin?”
The city of Atlanta was particularly pleased to see their quarterback who led them to a 7-9 season in such high spirits. “Michael Vick is the Falcons,” said a life-long fan who went to a few games during their Super Bowl season in 1998 and hasn’t been back since, “everything revolves around him, and that’s why we won those seven games last year, sure as heck wasn’t because those seven teams were atrocious, I’ll tell you that right now.”
Last month, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell made it clear to the legitimate thugs in the league that their unlawful behavior would not be tolerated when he suspended “Pacman” Jones for the entire 2008 campaign on the grounds that his nickname is so stupid he must be involved in illegal activity; he had also allegedly been questioned by police ten times in the past year and was allegedly involved in a shooting in Las Vegas during the NBA All-Star break in which a man was paralyzed, despite it being a well-known fact that black athletes keep their distance from guns. Chris Henry, one of nine Cincinnati Bengals arrested last year, was also suspended for having four recent arrests (all based on alleged crimes), but he was only hit for eight games.
But what the anti-Vick playa-hatas need to remember is that thugs such as Jones and Henry have earned their reputation as a detriment to society by constantly wreaking havoc with the law and not being a starting quarterback with a $130 million contract, whereas Vick’s numerous run-ins with the law and alleged crimes have only been alleged.
“What spoke volumes to me,” said Arthur Blank, “was when Jim Mora, Sr., the father of Jim Mora, Jr., our head coach at the time, called Mike a ‘coach killer,’ and Jim Mora, Jr. came out and publicly showed his support for Michael. We fired him at the end of the season, but I’m sure Jim still believes his father’s remark was way off base.”
“Bottom line, is, for the most part, if having dozens of dogs that on the outside, for the most part, look beaten and starved, for the most part, is wrong, then for the most part you can say I prolly shouldn’t-a done that, even though for the most part I didn’t do nothing,” Vick told ESPN, “and it ain’t even like what goes on at my house, illegal or whateva, be nobody’s bidness but my’s, knowha-im sayin’.”
The media in Atlanta believes that despite Vick’s alleged role in breeding and training dogs to kill one another for fun and to gamble, and the alleged witnesses linking him to it, his performance on the field in four months is what will determine whether or not he will be charged with anything, especially given that the past few seasons have led to the inconceivable belief that Vick can’t complete a pass to save his life. “I don’t know where people get this stuff, honestly.” Said Blank, “sure, he may have the occasional game where he completes 8 of 24 passes and throws two interceptions and we lose 31-0, but you can’t blame that on Vick. Those two wide receivers that we drafted in the first round obviously can’t catch. Same with Peerless Price a few years back. I don’t care if he did have 94 catches and made the Pro-Bowl the year before he played with Vick; if he can’t produce with Vick as his quarterback, he can’t produce period.”
Several analysts for ESPN and Fox Sports have re-iterated Blank’s argument. Said Sean Salisbury of ESPN, “Vick’s never had a receiver that could catch. I don’t care if Peerless Price was a pro-bowler in Buffalo and caught 94 balls in one year; he didn’t with Vick, so obviously he can’t get it done. It’s as if these receivers think they’re only supposed to catch passes when the quarterback throws a pass. And don’t even get me started on first round draft picks. You show me a sport in which the first round of a draft is important and I’ll show you a sport for women. Everyone knows taking wide receivers in the first round is a crapshoot, anyway. I mean, do we even know if they could catch in college? No way, teams just have to roll the dice and hope the receiver has played football before going in the first round of an NFL draft and getting awarded a contract worth tens of millions of dollars.”
Those closest to Vick believe that if he simply continues to lead the pure, honest, compassionate life of a black professional athlete with cornrows, everything will blow over.
In the meantime, the Falcons backup quarterback, Joey Harrington, is looking forward to the opportunity to start for Atlanta in the 2007 campaign.
“It doesn’t matter how giving a person is,” said Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank, “whether it be that time Mike paid for my Filet-O-Fish or that afternoon he bailed out his friend who claimed the pot was his and not Michael’s, people will still try to find something wrong just because he’s in the spotlight or because the police found something else illegal at one of his homes.”
The press first dove into Michael’s private life after a woman claimed that she contracted genital herpes from Vick, and that he allegedly checked into a clinic under the name Ron Mexico on several occasions to receive treatment, thus proving he knew about the condition.
“Some shawty be throwin herself all up in Mike’s bidness, finds out she got da herps and whateva and she be suing Mike fo dat?” commented one of Vick’s close friends, “whateva, playa, she prolly had dat bafoe all dat, knowha-imsayin? How we know she not be givin dat herps to Mike, knowha-imsayin? She be trippin’, word.”
Attorneys for Vick argued that she was, indeed, trippin’, and that most women would consider it an honor to contract an STD from an NFL superstar with a $130 million contract. Furthermore, they contested that because the woman obviously had very low standards and must be loose given that she hooked up with Mike, she must have known full well that sex with a black man is not going to involve a condom. Explained one of Vick’s defense attorneys, “if you order coffee, see how hot it is, and then purposely pour it all over yourself and get burned, you certainly can’t blame the coffee. That would be like buying some bullets, putting one into a gun, shooting yourself in the leg, and then suing the company that made the bullet. Mike’s just a bullet, here, can’t put it any more plainly.”
Clinton Portis, black running back for the Washington Redskins, also came to Vick’s defense in an interview with the press earlier this week. “Why they gotsta take a positive role model like Michael Vick and get him in trouble for nothing, for fighting some dogs. Animals fight all the time, ain’t you neva seen the Discovery Channel? I haven’t cause I keeps it real, but you white boys prolly do. They be his dogs on his property, knowha-imsayin, he should be able to do whateva.”
Portis’ words certainly helped sway public opinion back into Vick’s favor, who was later interviewed and quoted saying, “everybody loves Michael Vick, ain’t gonna be no problems with this here homey, knowha-imsayin?”
The city of Atlanta was particularly pleased to see their quarterback who led them to a 7-9 season in such high spirits. “Michael Vick is the Falcons,” said a life-long fan who went to a few games during their Super Bowl season in 1998 and hasn’t been back since, “everything revolves around him, and that’s why we won those seven games last year, sure as heck wasn’t because those seven teams were atrocious, I’ll tell you that right now.”
Last month, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell made it clear to the legitimate thugs in the league that their unlawful behavior would not be tolerated when he suspended “Pacman” Jones for the entire 2008 campaign on the grounds that his nickname is so stupid he must be involved in illegal activity; he had also allegedly been questioned by police ten times in the past year and was allegedly involved in a shooting in Las Vegas during the NBA All-Star break in which a man was paralyzed, despite it being a well-known fact that black athletes keep their distance from guns. Chris Henry, one of nine Cincinnati Bengals arrested last year, was also suspended for having four recent arrests (all based on alleged crimes), but he was only hit for eight games.
But what the anti-Vick playa-hatas need to remember is that thugs such as Jones and Henry have earned their reputation as a detriment to society by constantly wreaking havoc with the law and not being a starting quarterback with a $130 million contract, whereas Vick’s numerous run-ins with the law and alleged crimes have only been alleged.
“What spoke volumes to me,” said Arthur Blank, “was when Jim Mora, Sr., the father of Jim Mora, Jr., our head coach at the time, called Mike a ‘coach killer,’ and Jim Mora, Jr. came out and publicly showed his support for Michael. We fired him at the end of the season, but I’m sure Jim still believes his father’s remark was way off base.”
“Bottom line, is, for the most part, if having dozens of dogs that on the outside, for the most part, look beaten and starved, for the most part, is wrong, then for the most part you can say I prolly shouldn’t-a done that, even though for the most part I didn’t do nothing,” Vick told ESPN, “and it ain’t even like what goes on at my house, illegal or whateva, be nobody’s bidness but my’s, knowha-im sayin’.”
The media in Atlanta believes that despite Vick’s alleged role in breeding and training dogs to kill one another for fun and to gamble, and the alleged witnesses linking him to it, his performance on the field in four months is what will determine whether or not he will be charged with anything, especially given that the past few seasons have led to the inconceivable belief that Vick can’t complete a pass to save his life. “I don’t know where people get this stuff, honestly.” Said Blank, “sure, he may have the occasional game where he completes 8 of 24 passes and throws two interceptions and we lose 31-0, but you can’t blame that on Vick. Those two wide receivers that we drafted in the first round obviously can’t catch. Same with Peerless Price a few years back. I don’t care if he did have 94 catches and made the Pro-Bowl the year before he played with Vick; if he can’t produce with Vick as his quarterback, he can’t produce period.”
Several analysts for ESPN and Fox Sports have re-iterated Blank’s argument. Said Sean Salisbury of ESPN, “Vick’s never had a receiver that could catch. I don’t care if Peerless Price was a pro-bowler in Buffalo and caught 94 balls in one year; he didn’t with Vick, so obviously he can’t get it done. It’s as if these receivers think they’re only supposed to catch passes when the quarterback throws a pass. And don’t even get me started on first round draft picks. You show me a sport in which the first round of a draft is important and I’ll show you a sport for women. Everyone knows taking wide receivers in the first round is a crapshoot, anyway. I mean, do we even know if they could catch in college? No way, teams just have to roll the dice and hope the receiver has played football before going in the first round of an NFL draft and getting awarded a contract worth tens of millions of dollars.”
Those closest to Vick believe that if he simply continues to lead the pure, honest, compassionate life of a black professional athlete with cornrows, everything will blow over.
In the meantime, the Falcons backup quarterback, Joey Harrington, is looking forward to the opportunity to start for Atlanta in the 2007 campaign.


















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